In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious and Merciful.
First of all, as
an acknowledgement, I want to have this before my actual post that I'm typing.
(Is this just mere
writing an essay to improve on my English language? Or is it a truth story of
mine? Or am I just writing about a person that I like and I am making a
mountain out of a molehill? Only Allah and I know. )
______________________________________________
Dear oh dear my faithful
blog.
Why am I being
this way? I admired someone, "M" . I just don't know the reasons.
Maybe because of his behaviour. (Although he is like the one who is famously
known as "gila-gila", but who cares! ) I tried to take him as
someone that I would try to improve my attitudes on. In the process of knowing
him at other side (not from his fans' side), I realized that he is the one who
is very determined in whatever he do.
When one of my
friend, just let her be "A" asked me, "Why do you admire him instead
of others? He is not handsome. He is just well-liked by many of our peers. I
don't understand why it should be him"
First, I am not
looking at his image! Second, I have no idea too, A! It's just that I feel
there's something about him. Something special. That not all would be able to
see it. Yes, I agree that he is just hot stuff. That many people love to talk
about him. Sometimes, I do feel jealous of all these girls. But, why should I
be so when I am not having any "halal" relationship with M. Not even
my relatives! (Yes, of course if he is one of my relative, then I would not be "admiring" him.)
"I reflected
on myself. I do not deserve such person. I just have to give up on hoping
for him, I guess? "
One day, I
accidently read one post from him about a girl he admired. I am very curious to
know who might be the lucky girl. She has a special place in his heart. Not to
say that I am forgetting HIM, the Almighty when I am having this "weird
feeling towards him". But, I do pray to Him to show me the right path.
"If he is the right one for me, then please let him just be with me one
day. But if he's not, please let him away from me."
But, today,
everything hidden is like being shown to me. I was too dissolved with a social
network website. I really want to know about that girl, that I have clicked on
many profiles until I stopped at a very common yet special profile of a girl. I
tried to "know" about her. Though it was still blurry either it might
be her or not, my instinct (which are always correct, but not 100%) told me
that she is the girl that I have been looking forward to know about. She is
definitely a nice girl though I just "know" her today. Maybe this is
only my first impression on somebody.
My feelings were
all mixed up today. I feel so dejected yet happy for him. Yes of course dear
blog; I am sure you already know why I am sad. I am happy though because I
think at least the girl that he is admiring of is a nice girl. I am thinking
either I am being forgetful to HIM, or is it because Allah just want to test my
faith on HIM.
There is only one
thing left keeps coming and playing in my mind.
Maybe this story
is just mere a "teenager's stuff”?
I hope that one
day my question will be answered.
______________________________________________
I think that's all
for the time being. Hope to write more, about something else maybe, my dear
blog? Till then, good bye.
Note: Anyone who finds any grammatical error or phrases in this article, should you notify me on that? Thank you in advance for your concern.
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